My name on my tombstone 9

St Mary’s, Totton, Eling, Hampshire: note the stones facing the same way, towards the east. Somewhere in front of them would be the headstone of the incumbent facing his flock, just as he would have stood before the congregation during church services; he is ready to lead them at the sound of the Last Trump. 

This ties in with Christian belief: Then the man brought me to the gate, even the gate that looketh toward the east and I saw the Glory of God  [Ezek 43:1]

However, the symbolism could be traced much further back than Christianity.

More on the origins of grave orientation at

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_are_graves_always_facing_east_in_cemeteries

Totton and Eling is a town and civil parish in Hampshire, England.

This church has Caithness associations: James Caithness snr. (1786-1826) married Ann Scorey (1796-1889) here on 30 June 1814. Captain William Bell's wife was a Caithness.

Acknowledgement for photo: Peter Hay 

My name on my tombstone 8

Occasionally, a memorial inscription on a gravestone unexpectedly provides answers to family history questions. In the case of my great grandfather Finlay Gibson, his inscription on a stone in New Street Cemetery, Stevenston, Ayrshire tells us quite a lot:

Finlay Gibson buried in New Street Cemetery, Stevenston, 31 December 1924 aged 84.

In Lair No. H13 - together with son William F Gibson d 1911 aged 23.  These dates fit in with the 1881 and 1891 Census concerning the ages of these individuals. Also helpful is mention of Finlay's wife Annie nee Bell, 'died 27 Sept 1929 in Winnipeg Canada, where her remains rest.'

This information me allowed me to follow up, with the help of Canadian researcher Denise Neufeld, Annie Gibson's death and burial details in Winnipeg. 

The Winnipeg Evening Tribune, Wed, 29 Sept, 1926, p 15 col 3 'Deaths':

'GIBSON - Entered late rest on Sept 27 at St Boniface Hospital, Annie Gibson, aged 67 years, widow of the late Finlay Gibson and mother of Mrs Wm. Robson 197 Hill Street,  Wednesday, from the Gardiner Funeral Home, 172 Kennedy St. Interment in the family plot at Elmwood Cemetery.'

After Finlay Gibson's death, Annie Gibson left Stevenston and went to Canada where she stayed with her daughter Kate and son-in-law William Robson for about a year before Annie's death in 1926.

The Manitoba Free Press, Wed, 29 Sept 1926 p 7 col 3 'Deaths & funerals':
'Mrs Annie Gibson, widow of the late Finlay Gibson, died at St Boniface hospital on Monday. A native of Hamilton Ontario she had spent most of her life in Scotland and had resided with her daughter, Mrs William Robson, 197 Hill Street, Norwood, about a year. The funeral will be held at 2 o'clock this afternoon from the Gardiner funeral home to Elmwood cemetery and Rev J E Ramsden will officiate'.

William F Gibson, son of Finlay and Annie, died young, aged 22 according to the grave inscription. An engine fitter by trade, cause of death was 'lung disease'; another victim of working conditions at the time? Or did he, like thousands of other people at that time, suffer from tuberculosis?

New Street, Stevenston, Ayrshire

My name on my tombstone 7

Inscription reads: To the Memory of Frederick Hitch V.C. ... this Memorial was erected by voluntary subscription to commemorate His Heroic Action at Rorke's Drift 22 January 1879

Famous occupants of Chiswick Old Cemetery include  the painter Hogarth (famous for satirical prints including A Rake’s Progress, and Beer Street and Gin Lane – his house in Chiswick is now a museum); John McNeill Whistler (whose 1874 Arrangement in Grey and Black no.1 is better known to us as ‘Whistler’s Mother’); and Frederick Hitch of Zulu War fame, who was one of 11 men to be awarded the Victoria Cross after the Battle of Rorke’s Drift, where some 150 British and colonial soldiers defended an isolated mission station against 3,000-4,000 Zulu warriors. His gravemarker, a boulder draped with carved union flag and topped with a stone helmet, is a particular highlight. 

Pte Frederick Hitch VC. Born 29th Nov 1856 Southgate, Middlesex, died 6th Jan 1913 of pneumonia and heart failure due to picket duty while on strike as a cabby after the Home Secretary (Winston Churchill) increased the price of petrol but did not allow fares to be increased at the time.

My name on my tombstone 6

If you live in Kwa Zulu Natal it might be a good idea to check where your family's granite tombstone came from. Reports in the Durban area in recent years indicate that stolen tombstones are being used to make granite kitchen tops which are then re-sold to unsuspecting communities. Make sure you know the origins of the material used for your counter tops, especially granite.

Tampering with grave sites is a serious offence that carries a hefty fine and even a prison sentence. The KZN Cemeteries and Crematoria Act requires one to seek permission from the MEC for Local Government to formally exhume a grave site. The department of Cooperative Governance and Traditional Affairs (Cogta) in KwaZulu-Natal is the custodian of grave sites in the province and should be consulted if there is a need to formally exhume a grave site.

It is disturbing to hear of criminals who do not respect grave sites desecrating them by stealing tombstones placed there by relatives to remember their loved ones.

This type of vandalism in graveyards has been going on for some time and perpetrators are seldom caught. 

Prince Imperial's Memorial Vandalised

In July 2012 it was reported that the memorial to the Prince Imperial, near Nqutu in the Dundee district, had been the target of vandals for the second time in six months. The marble cross marking the site was destroyed and the supporting structure seriously damaged. This served no purpose: the site is a memorial – there are no human remains buried there and nothing of value is hidden below the surface.

The incident at the Prince Imperial memorial site followed hard upon the heels of the desecration of the Intombi Military Cemetery near Ladysmith, earlier in the year. A grave was dug up, creating a hole 2m deep, and a headstone was damaged.

From the photograph taken at the site the headstone appears to be one of the distinctive Border Mounted Rifles’ memorials. I believe the headstone is that of William Dixon Smith, Lieutenant Quartermaster of the BMR, who died at Intombi in January 1900 – not a faceless soldier to me, but a real person, whose Siege letters I’ve read and whose life and family history I have researched in depth. The situation is deplorable no matter which grave has been disturbed.

Intombi Cemetery showing desecration of grave of Border Mounted Rifles 

Lieut QuarterMaster William Dixon Smith

My name on my tombstone 5

Angels at Rookwood Cemetery

The Victorian era (1837-1901) greatly emphasized customs and practices associated with death. So, the period paved the way for elaborate tombstones and headstones. The cemeteries appeared more like parks as they had such lavish and decorated gravestones.

In addition, the gravestones also included sculptured designs, artwork and symbols such as:

• angels of death
• star of David
• the Dove
• Egyptian symbol Ankh
• Eye of Horus -                            
• weeping willow tree
• maple leaf
• flowers
• horseshoe
• sword
• broken column - classic symbol of life cut short

Eye of Horus (Egyptian)

Victorian graves were more elaborate than modern graves. A middle-class family would spend as much as it could afford on a monument appropriate to the deceased’s (and the family’s) social status. Monuments were usually symbolic – either religious (crosses, angels, the letters IHS, a monogram for Jesus Savior of Man in Greek), symbols of profession (whip and horseshoes for a coach driver, swords for a general, palette for a painter), or symbols of death.

Some common symbols of death were:
urns – classical symbol of Roman cremation. Romans used to take the cremated remains, place them in an urn and cover them with a shroud.

wreaths – symbol of eternal life, as it’s circular (with no beginning and no end) and made of evergreens (never turn brown, so never die).

upside-down torches – the inverted torch symbolizes death, the burning flame (which normally would be extinguished when the torch was turned upside-down) symbolizes the flame of eternal life and the Christian belief in resurrection.

grieving women – classical symbol of a woman dressed in loose (Roman) robes, physically exhausted from weeping, and leaning on her hand, sometimes on an urn or a cross.

obelisks – Egyptian symbol of eternal life.

Curiously, many of the monuments in Victorian cemeteries are not actually Christian, but pagan – classical (Roman) or Egyptian. Christianity in 19th-century Britain was predominantly Church of England (Protestant), but with worrying challenges from various Protestant sects (Methodists, Presbyterians) as well as a movement towards High Anglicanism – incorporating elements of Catholicism into the Church of England.

It is upon such stones that men attempt to permanently etch history so they will not exist in a vacuum; it is the final statement after a lifetime of scratching out divisions upon the ground, over ephemeral time itself, merely to give their short journeys meaning, to tell others 'I was here – do not forget me, do not let my brief blast dissolve into nothingness.' 
Rob Bignell

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Marking the place where deceased relatives lie buried has been going on for thousands of years, though the type of memorial mark has evolved. 

From the dolmen, a grave covered entirely with stone - a whole burial chamber, made up of one large stone supported by two or more upright stones - to the upright headstone or tombstone as we know it today, bearing some details about the person buried in that spot.

Some cultures - such as the Celts - left a stark cairn, or a pile of stones, with no name to identify the dead. Religious iconography later appeared on the headstone with the name and sometimes dates of birth and death. A lamb meant the innocence of a child - a 'lamb of God'; a cross and crown meant a Christian burial. As the concept of the gravestone evolved, names were followed by a biblical verse or a line of poetry, or a brief mention of the deceased's occupation or claim to fame. 

Lamb of God and Angels

The more detailed a headstone material or inscription was the more it cost and this frequently became a bone of contention among beneficiaries of the deceased: who would pay for it? Significantly, this matter may never have been resolved, and the grave would never have a headstone. This could result in the grave eventually being 'recycled', common practice in large municipal cemeteries where space may be running out.

Private Charles Dunbar, one of the last survivors of the Battle of Rorke's Drift, was buried in 1940 aged 82 in Stellawood Cemetery, Durban. His grave has been re-used several times. He has no marker of any kind and but for a few enthusiasts who know his story he remains entirely forgotten.

Stellawood Cemetery, Umbilo, Durban

My name on my tombstone 3

Christian graves in churchyards were traditionally aligned on an east-west axis, as was the church itself. Parishioners' graves faced east - the head was at the west end of the grave and the foot at the east. The exceptions were gravestones of the priests/ministers which faced the other way. 

The reason for this was that it was believed that on the day of resurrection the parishioners would rise up and face the direction of Jesus’s second coming in Jerusalem, traditionally due east. At that point their priests/ministers would also rise up and be ready facing their flocks of parishioners. (Acknowledgement: David Fairhurst, www.quora.com)

Typical churchyard (from Quora)

St Michael’s churchyard Bowness-on-Solway. Bell memorial stone extreme left.

Municipal cemeteries initially followed a similar pattern but later, after World War II, factors such as expense, shortage of labour and a gradual decline in importance of Christian traditions brought a change in arrangements of graveyards. 

Space became critical and remains a problem with large municipal cemeteries such as Stellawood in Umbilo, Durban. Here, graves are recycled – usually those without headstones (and there are many such) are the first to undergo recycling. It is possible to buy or lease the family plot and continue to use it for related burials. However, today cremation is increasingly the choice made.

In the case of the Point graveyard, Durban, where some of the earliest Natal settlers were buried, the graves were moved to West Street Cemetery in 1896. The memorial inscriptions read like a roll-call of Natal colonial residents. A list of those buried at the Point Cemetery and details of the exhumation of the remains of colonists and their re-interment at West Street Cemetery in 1896 can be seen at molegenealogy.blogspot.com/2012/09/heritage-month-point-settlers-memorial.html.

The Point Settlers' Memorial, West Street Cemetery

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The noted hunter James T Whitehead killed 99 bears: 'We hope he has
gone to rest.'

Mordaunt humour may not always raise a laugh in a cemetery.

Some gravestones are very informative - all grist to the family historian's mill. This one even lists friends of the deceased and gives a brief biography.

Details of how the deceased met his end are sometimes supplied, including on this stone for Thomas Barrow, Master of the Sloop Two Brothers, 1752:

Gravestone, Bosham Church, Sussex. 'In memory of Thomas , son of Richard and Ann Barrow, master of the sloop Two Brothers who by the breaking of the horse fell into the sea and was drown'd October the 13th 1759 Aged 23 years'. Note that a 'horse' is a specific rope used in the rigging of sailing ships. (Photo Peter Cook on flickr.)


In the 18th c they often got down to the bare bones of the topic:







R I P

My name on my tombstone ... 1

In Scotland, women kept their maiden surname throughout life (and most gravestones reflect this), and widows often preferred to return to their maiden surname for census purposes.  I like the idea of having my maiden name on my gravestone even if the married name is included in parenthesis for the sake of accuracy. Census information showing Scottish women with their maiden name can be useful for genealogists.

Now that cremation is virtually the order of the day, and the cost of memorial inscriptions on large chunks of marble or granite prohibitive, the deceased may get only a brief mention on a wall of remembrance. Practical, perhaps, but I favour casting the ashes at a location important to the deceased during his lifetime.

When my mariner ancestor Captain Thomas Gadsden died in 1691 on the island of Nevis in the West Indies, probably of fever, he left a deathbed will instructing his second-in-command to sail his ship, the Mary & Elizabeth, back to England. Thomas was buried on the island but at that time a wooden marker was all that would have shown the site and it is now long gone, rotted away by the elements. Since Thomas was merely passing through there was nobody to pay for his tombstone. Grander residents such as Aron Chapman qualified for a white marble slab with inscription:

St Thomas Lowland Parish, Nevis.

'Here Lyeth the Ashes of

                                 Aron Chapman Esq., who                                

Was one of the King's Coun

Cil in this Island & he de

Parted this life the 15th day 

of March in the 41 year of

his Age and in ye year of 

our Lord God 1693 to the

Great greif of his Friends

And the unspeakable Lofs of this island of Neuis.'

That stone memorials were used in the 17th c is shown by this example. The inscription is the reverse of verbose. No clue is given about the deceased's name.

In the later Middle Ages the 'transi' tomb (a double storey effigy showing the deceased as he appeared in life as well as the skeleton he would become) brought home the brevity of life and that all, even kings and bishops, ended up as food for worms.

Transi tomb and effigy of  John FitzAlan 14th Earl of Arundel (died 1435), in the Fitzalan Chapel, Arundel, West Sussex.  (Acknowledgement: Lampman)

The Bell/Gibson connection: William Brittain Bell

I have the Bell surname on two of my family lines which leads to some confusion especially as the forename William was favoured by both sets of Bell ancestors. Note that the Bells mentioned below are not related to Capt William Bell.

This almost illegible memorial inscription is that of William Brittain Bell b 1868 d 1922 and his wife Clara Elizabeth ('Bessie') Norrish who married in Lincolnshire in 1895. They lie buried in Town D Cemetery, Barnstaple, Devon. (Photo from Ryan Moore Sept 2011.)

Their children were Hubert Brittain Bell and William Samuel Brittain Bell.

Parents of William Brittain Bell (1868-1922) were Samuel Bell (1833-1874 born Chetwynd, Shropshire and died Everton, Lancashire) and Catherine Thomson Ross (1834-1913 - born and died in Stevenston, Ayrshire, Scotland).

Samuel Bell and Catherine Thomson Ross had, among other children, Annie Bell (born 1859) who married Finlay Gibson in May 1881 at Stevenston, Ayrshire, Scotland. This Annie was my great grandmother. Her daughter, Annie Gibson, was my grandmother who married Joseph Hamilton in 1907 at Stevenston, Ayrshire, Scotland. Annie and 'Joe' Hamilton emigrated to South Africa in 1910 and have numerous descendants in this country.