FAMILY TREE RESEARCHER
I met a friend the other day for weeks I had not seen,
I said “I have not seen you much, wherever have you been?”
He said “I’ve been away from here back to my own birthplace,”
I’ve been back there because my family tree I wish to trace.”
He then went on to tell me things about his kith and kin,
And how he was related to the present sovereign.
He had a well known ancestor who was a famous writer.
Another was a general and a celebrated fighter.
His family were connected with the poet Percy Shelley
Who was distantly related to his great great Aunty Nellie.
Explorers, sailors, scientists and bishops of renown.
His famous predecessors were well known throughout the town.
I thought if he could do these things then maybe so could I,
So I went down to the town hall to give the scheme a try.
I soon found that a great great uncle Arthur had been lynched,
Because of some small article they said that he had pinched.
Another of my ancestors spent several months in jail
For wearing womens’ clothing when in fact he was a male.
One aunt had fixed her husband with a bullet in the brain,
And another man cut up his wife and poured her down a drain.
My great great uncle Henry was made to serve some time,
For doing what the papers called an anti-social crime.
I thought “This interesting hobby really is no good for me,
We’re such a lot of crooks and rogues it’s getting plain to see.”
I packed up my researches then and threw away my notes
And took up writing poems and verse – like this one I just wrote!